‘I was unsure about meeting the infamous Baron von Dennis as I had heard so many strange things about him. Yet I found him exquisitely polite, and quite mesmerizing. It was utterly charming the way he made fun of my bold spot without becoming a public nuisance.’ Lady Agnes Doucheberry Jonah Goadme ‘The Baron is simply amazing. He makes you feel as if he’s speaking directly to you at the same time as speaking to a dozen others. I’ve never felt so loved whilst being in a crowd of strangers. I even continued to hear his voice in my mind when I was alone. How can he get into so many hard-to-find places?’ New Layer Apricot Jones ‘I think Baron von Dennis has that skill which nobody else has. You know? Like, there’s all those skills out there that people have but there’s just one skill that nobody has, and they can’t get it. Like, well, that’s the skill that the Baron must have because I haven’t seen it anywhere else. And I think I should know.'
Darren Durr ‘A thousand years wouldn’t be long enough for me not to meet with Baron von Dennis again. He thinks he’s just so witty, it makes my vest crawl into my pants. That Baron is about as funny as a turtle farting. I wouldn’t say he insulted me, but he made others laugh in a way I couldn’t understand. The Baron should be banished to Timbukto with a hoard of androgynous demons and a Jimmy Saville ‘Fix It’ badge.’ ‘Without doubt one of the finest writers to step onto dry land. Baron von Dennis has a knack of bringing the otherworld out of the ethers and into the shadows. His writing is like a luminous flame in an underground cavern. He’s the kind of writer that would have inspired our cave-dwelling ancestors to draw squiggly lines on their cave walls, if he had been around. Maybe he was – it certainly wouldn’t surprise me!’ ‘A raving, loony genius. Certainly, he got there before I did. It feels like he stole my ideas. His work gets inside you like a rectal probe. Once you read Baron von Dennis’s work, you’ll never walk the same again, or even eat the same food – remarkable!’ ‘I met Baron von Dennis at a cake gala where he did a book reading. He left people in tears. He’s that cheeky – really! If I was his mother, I’d have left him in the incubator. But his work is irresistibly good!’ ‘Baron von Dennis is a thief of intimacy. Shame on him. Blame on him. He’s ruined my imagination and now I have a squint in my left eye. My eye surgeon says I’ll never look anyone straight in the eye again. I feel cheated out of thirty more years of seduction, and I’m only seventy-one.’ ‘I met Baron von Dennis and came away with a distinct feeling of ambiguity. He’s the kind of person who leaves you with the feeling as if you’ve just eaten rhubarb and custard but just can’t quite remember where.’ ‘Man, what a blowout! This dude Baron von Dennis is like a tickle-stick without the stick. I read one of his books and couldn’t get out of bed for days. I was sweating like an orangutan in the Mojave Desert. I’ve not been blown away this badly since my Freshman school proms! This guy’s got more Shanaaz than Catwoman!’ Justin Swetinbedde Candy J. Cobbledick Wendy Wacko Willie Stroker Prof. Yolanda Squatpump Colonel Major Archibald Bobbit-Ribbit ‘I was unsure about meeting the infamous Baron von Dennis as I had heard so many strange things about him. Yet I found him exquisitely polite, and quite mesmerizing. It was utterly charming the way he made fun of my bold spot without becoming a public nuisance.’